Saturday, December 23, 2006

hanging around

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Latest Plan: become amazing fantastic trapzee artist.
Steps to sucess; practice trapeazze and learn death defying tricks
Atempt to : defy death and hopefuly not end up too severely broken and injured

Monday, November 20, 2006

The river of manfestion: I may be a hippy but i'm not that kind of stoner..

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How quikly a year goes.. how quickly go two.. FRL is the most amazing fantasic festavail in the history of the universe! i'm so inspired by the crew of volenters working on it this year it's going to be amazing and for the fisrt time i don't have to rush back to melbourne for somthing and so i can stay up there for a few days and enjoy the pack up and the big staff party!!!! Whooo hooo.

It was josh's first bithday on saturaday.. last year alice couldn't come to FRL becase she had just given birth.
The year before that she wanted so badly to concive and was having so much trouble. She had just had a miscaage and came to FRL with the girls for an escape and some healing.

i wamdered in to the waters and was thinking about alice nad how much she she wanted to become a mother and reached in to the water and picked up a stone .. i looked down at it and it was shaped like apregent bellie.. it became alice's 'fertlity stone'. it was keept on a little ferlity alter and alice( and her parter of cousre) chanaled her( their) engergy(s) in to falling pregnet..... Now josh will come with us to the magicla festival!!
Last year i was lost and wandered int o the same river.( I call it the river of manafestaion*.. ) I found my own stone it resmebled a flat bellie on one side and an awrow on the other . it was my 'direction stone'. it's on my window still helping me to sty focosed and manifet dreams in to relity.


*apreantly the river has dried up due to the drought.. city dwellers be aware wallies with water need a scare!!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

i don't want to have a blog just want 2 comment

i don't want to have a blog just want 2 comment
excess sugar consumtion making brain buzz half tube of condenced milk in coffe was entirly unessacery after eaing entire box full of jelly beans.. sanwich may stablisise crazy sugar high.. .. ahhh last ever alll night eassy writing.. write cailin write.

my bad.

i don't want to have a blog just want 2 comment
resisting urge to post.. will power will pervil.. ahh no.. ahhh... can't help it log in anywayy. no no no.... stop procastanting caitlin .. LAST EVER ESSAY!!!! get writing.. mind must be all male gaze and female spetatior ship and flenurs and flenursues and mascarade and specticlue not posting stop oit stop it now you dilinqute undisabled creature!

Friday, November 03, 2006

addiction

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curse thee aggle for look now i am addicted to blogs!
blah.
oh the endless posts of miss splet , verbel diariheaish , dyslexic ramblings.. i must stop...

phone a friend

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The world was crumbling. utterly alone. far past a decent hour to call anyone. much too late. wholowing in self pity and utter helplessness. hoplessness. the world was tucked up cozely and would not look kindly upon being woken. much much too late. far past a decent hour. Then there was an idea. not the brightset of ideas but on that would hold the theads togeher . there was another dimention where it was not so late where someone lived who knew how hopless things could get. can you hear a tear stained face even when it's smilling?

the show must go on

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"You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns as they all did tricks for you"- Bob Dylan.

Should an artist have to perform like a puppet on a string?

Must the show go on regardless of what's going on? Dose getting to do exaclty what you love to earn a crust come with the resposblity to perfom? I love Augie March and i worship Gleen Richards as a golden god ( well not golden i hate that clour but as a purple god)

Last night i was so disapointed. I've seen him have hissy fits before but last night he was so stropy and abused the audance. Graeated he was feeling bitter and twisted about being the suport act to bernard fanning ( who is clearly much, much, much less brillant) and the majority of the audiance were showing him no respect: festaval hall was buzzing like a broken washing machine whille they were playing. (I esspcely think some reverance should have been given to the exsuiate "no such place" which is oblivly emotional for the band.) But to crak it uttlery and give out such bad vibes was not cosinging that all though the majority of the audiance were in Karolina's words 'plebs' and had no curtsy some of us came to see Augie March and we lissting internly and wre bittlerly disaponited.
So here is the delemer i think an arstist shouldn't have to lie and if Glenn was felling disreapeted he should be aloud to be honest about it but again it comes down to considering how behaiour impacts on other people. It's the same with shareing your problems with other as disscussed in Being Apropate post. When is it dumping your issues unfairly on others and when is it honsetly comuacating how you feel? How much should some one just suck it up? How much should you grin and bear it?

As a perfomer i do think Glenn's little tantiy was a tad over the top! On the day my father died i went and did a fairy party. I put how i was feeling aside and imagined a 5 year old girl who was excitedly looking ofward to a fairy coming to her special day. So mabe it wouldn't have been to much to ask for Glenn to imagine the students who couldn't aford the time or money to come and see him but came aanyway because they were looking fowrd to it. But insteed of a fantastic exparice and beautiful music were subjecting to his anger.

-But then being a senstive and tourched soul is probly what enables him to write thosse lyrics!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Dionysian Dancing

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Traibal dance is the ulamite in postmodern pastiche. It's theis seemingly ancient form of dacne that was devloped in america 10 years ago it blends eygypian, turkish, spanish , native america dance forms in to theis amzing from of movements. There are a series of signs and gestures that comucatyed what the next movement will be and the group move as one taking it in turns to be the queen and lead. the queen can chosse to reemerce her self in the group and let someone eler lead or when they are ready a nother woman can setp foward and proclaim her self the queen. It's a very grounding , empowering sexy game of follow the leader!

Also going to Augie March tonight whooooo hoooooooooooo.

realism

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Chekov is depressing. Ibsen is also somwhat depressing. realism is depressing. but also true and beauitful. once you grasp how depressing life can be you become even more determaned to make sure that it's not.

what's in a house?

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What is a house ? a house isn't the memories that you had there a house isn't the people that you love or the times gone by, a hosue isn't your childhood or your idenity. All of that is metaphysical and the house is just a materal place. so when it's gone it's the end of an era and it's time for growth and devlopment . it should be librating to rid your self of the clutter of semtamentail thing. but some how it's unbelivably scary.

being aproparate

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Human interation is so often stifled by notions of what is apropate. Antone Artaud ould have had us all rooling arounf the floor growling and vomiting and screaming and crying in an honest visral mess.
So why do we politely respond "fine thanks". when we are asked how we are why do we nver say "I'm experining the confussion of emotional turmoil and simaaltanious exaslation at the sheer wonder and horror of my exsitance!" Why is an out pouring of emotions so feared?

Sunday, October 29, 2006

yo bro

The human mind

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Brains braaainss.
The human mind is a facanating thing. All thosse folds and cresses and nooks and crannkys and places for subcounous thoughts to hide in. Meantl bocks amaze me. How can knolage just disaper momenterly and you are unable to acess it? Where dose it go to? and why?
Somthing unbelivable happend to me today.. granted i'm delirously hilariously exasted and on another planet but how dose ANYONE let alone some one in my line of work FORGET THE TUNE TO HAPPY BIRTHDAY? I just had a mental block and couldn't rember the tune.. even when the children started singing it i couldn't sing along.. it was unblivably bizar! How and why dose that happen?

Friday, October 27, 2006

procrastanation of the nation

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help!
I'm suffering from cronic procratanationitis.
Thesse are the notes that i have stuck on my wall to motavate me to stop procrastanting:

My best writing is done rapidly and with few filters i then deleate my way to excallance.

She who procastanates has no future

Hamlet is not cool!

Procastantion is like mastabation : in the end you're only fucking yourself.

Just write somthing, anything and get it fishished and then you can be free!!!!

So i spring in to action and rewrite all thesse ntos agin and here we have it blog entry number three. i promise this will be my last one as i am now becoming displined , foucused and non procastanating.